Sunday, July 25, 2010

I Have Issues!

It's been one of my long time goals to learn how to roller skate on quads. I've never been able to stand on any type of skates but quads are most important because that's essential to roller derby. I've been talking about learning for several years but have put it off out of fear, perhaps for good reason.

Yesterday, after much prompting from friends, I made it to the rink. I tried to lose my skates, run late and lose my cash but my buddy kept close tabs on me and didn't allow for my excuses. I arrived at the rink about five minutes late (which for me is pretty much on time) only to discover that she had paid for my entrance fee! NO EXCUSES! I came in and put my skates on and out on the floor we went! I was leaning on the wall and she was telling me not to. After about a round of that we went to the carpet.

The carpet is my friend! I can skate much better on Mr. Carpet because there's no speed and it doesn't hurt as much when I fall. I was awesome, I only fell once or twice! I was so good so confident, I knew I was going to be a star!  I was so proud when Cheryl told me I was doing great! Then she said the dreaded words "Now it's time to skate on the wood floor and no clinging to the walls!" I tried but the wood floor hates me, it mocks me. 

The first round or two I was still leaning on the walls, then after two rounds I was pooped! Yes I am a wimp! After watering myself I got up and made two more rounds without the wall and then I fell backward! Instantly pain shot through my arm. It hurt so badly I wanted to cry but I didn't until Cheryl asked me if I was OK. I actually choked that back until her son told me I would get better, then frustration and pained combined. My only option was an escape to the ladies room. Once under control I got out there again I made one round then in the middle of round two I fell backward again! Strangely, it didn't hurt as much BUT I had to leave the floor as soon as I could because there was a growing bump on my arm. It actually didn't really hurt (the fall did but not the swelling) after icing my arm and sitting it out for a while, I got back out there and tried again and made two more rounds. The obligatory games were played. I then tried one last time to get out there and made it to round two and fell forward this time I had enough and I was at a table trying to get the skates off.

I have issues, I have no sense of balance in real life and five times less on skates. I'm still getting laughed at by four year old children as they zoom by. In spite of myself, I have learned how to skate, not well but I can make it around the rink with minimal falls. I cannot get up unassisted and will crawl somewhere if need be.  It's not the teacher it's definitely the student! The rink owner was giving me tips poor Cheryl tried too. I'm a mess equal to a giraffe on skates; my stance is all wrong, my legs are locked up and I can't gain any speed. I have a bruise around my elbow and one on my butt. With all that aside, I CAN SKATE (sort of).

I'm going back hopefully next weekend. :)


  1. I think you did just fine. Some knee and elbow pads will be helpfull for next time which should be very very soon. I had so much fun.
    Your forever friend who will not let you down.

  2. You can do eet!! lol. As bad as you want this Shell, you will be a pro in no time. Next thing you know I won't be going to bouts WITH you but to WATCH you! :oD

    Marsala Wine Sauce... with cheese.

  3. Yes, definitely invest in some elbow, knee and wrist need those joints, otherwise, if you mess them up too bad, you will feel older much quicker then you least wear them until you are completely comfortable...not all of us are ballerinas...believe me...I'm no miss Grace. However, I'm gutsy and skating was something I wanted to do back when I was very small. Still, with that being said, we all get hurt when learning new things. When I first got into derby, I nearly killed myself plenty of times learning turn around toe stops...then they say, "okay, now try it spinning the opposite direction"...WHAT! I CAN'T DO THAT!...and down I went. Sure, I may have had my first concussion when I was 5 by trying to fly off my grandparents porch...but you will never learn if you don't try.
    Don't think about it so hard, and it will come natural before you know it...of course, you may not want to trust the cape around your neck, because people in leotard suits with capes don't really fly, they are on cables and safety harnesses...remember, to practice safety, and no matter how banged up you get, you will still continue to have fun.

  4. First thing first...get wrist, elbow, and knee protection, otherwise you may regret it when you mess them up good enough. Don't think about skating, just do what comes natural, and before you know it you will be doing it in no time. Also...remember...everyone has learning to overcome...I had to learn that I couldn't fly...the hard way...I got my first concussion when I was about 4 or 5. Sure, I have always been gutsy and determined, but, I also found out that real people can't fly with a cape. It's kinda like learning how to swim...
    Now, I learned to skate when I was very young. However, when I first came into derby, doing a turn around toe stop was very very scary...but after many tries and a few dozen falls... I got it...then they say, "Okay, now do it turning the opposite direction!"...I was like WHAT! I CAN'T DO THAT...but the trick was...don't let it overwhelm you. Some things are best learned in baby steps. Learn to roll. Bend your knees a little. And Just do it faster and faster. can do anything you put your mind to. And if that little kid laughs at you...laugh back, while saying, "Ha, screw off little kid, I can drive a car and you CAN'T!!!"
    Little kids like that have not yet learned the meaning of respect. One day, before you know it, you will be mowing the little kids down and laughing back at them while they cry.
    You can do it...just practice safely.

  5. I'm so excited and proud for you! It's a hard thing to get out there and push yourself the way you did... and you did it! I can promise that it will get easier. No one was born skating well... we all had to learn, and fall down a lot when learning... so get those pads and have Ibuprofen and Biofreeze ready when you need it, cause you will. Every skater you see keeps ice packs and all kinds of medical things with them because they fall down all the time. Granted they fall more now because someone is hitting them! But they still fall all the time on their own. Don't let falling down keep you down.

  6. As Dory from "Finding Nemo" says, "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." But in this case, just keep skating, skating, skating. You remember me from my first year in derby - I SUCKED!!!

    Be patient Grasshopper.